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Why did the time traveler’s wife leave him?

Because she was tired of living in the past!

What do you call a group of chickens playing instruments in a symphony orchestra?

The egg-cellent ensemble!

(I hope that one cracked you up!)

Why did the digital artist break up with his pixelated girlfriend?

Because he needed more resolution in his life!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

Why did the architect design a building for a giant squid?

Because he wanted to create a tentacular structure!

What do you call a fake noodle that’s feeling sad?

An impasta with a bad sauce.

Why did the physicist break up with his girlfriend?

Because he found her mass attractive, but her charge was always negative!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Fsh!

(I guess that one was fin-tasticly funny again!)

Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?

He wanted to reach his full potential!

(It’s a high-hat pun, if I do say so myself!)